Practicing Self-Care
Self-care is often viewed as superficial tasks i.e. taking a spa day, going for a walk, booking a holiday. Self-care is the practice of paying attention to one’s own needs and looking after the self. In reality, this can look like expressing your needs, taking breaks, saying no, engaging in pleasurable activities. Learning to implement the skills below can nourish your relationship with yourself.
Bring your awareness internally. Our bodies contain the physical aspects of our experience – what is it saying? Anger can feel like a rising heat through the face whilst anxiety feels like a racing heart and sweaty palms. Becoming increasingly aware of bodily signals can help one understand if we are reaching our capacity to cope and need to practice self-care.
Regularly tune into your body. This can help you feel more ‘at home’ in yourself. Breathing is such a small act that regulates our muscle tension, temperature and heart rate. Regularly practice deep controlled breathing, inhaling and exhaling to encourage calm. As you breathe notice if you’re holding tension in your muscles, progressively tense and relax muscle groups in your body.
Shift your self-perspective. What does your internal dialogue sound like? Your emotions are real, valid and deserve space. Naming and taming is a big part of the shift, actively acknowledge the emotion you’re feeling. Emotions are a way our brain communicates information, once we notice our emotions we can identify needs we may have been ignoring.
Practice kind self-talk. How quick are we to criticise, blame and doubt ourselves? Our brains will retain information that is accessed often and with an emotional component. If we are practicing self-care we need to change our internal dialogue to reflect curiosity, encouragement and pride. You are in control of the thoughts that make up your story, choose to tell yourself something supportive.
Engage in the present moment. Find a time in the day where you can focus on your immediate experience and use your sensory system. If this is sitting at the beach; what sounds can you hear? What smells fill your nose? What can you feel if you stretch out your hands? If it is tricky to find a space to do this, try practicing being mindful in daily tasks such as showering, eating, or driving. How do you experience these tasks through your senses?
Take a step back. If you do a self-check in and notice your energy is low, take yourself away from the situation whether it’s for a minute or a day to recuperate. This can look like moving out of a meeting at work to relax your muscles, stepping out of a social situation to breathe in a quiet space or spending a Sunday with no plans for ‘productivity’. Taking a step back in the short term, allows you to move forward feeling well-equipped in the long term.
Make time for fun. We can easily get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and forget that some experiences exist purely to be enjoyed. Consistently planning pleasurable activities encourages generating and seeking out positive feelings. This can be any fun action, big or small, like playing with your dog, propagating new plants or cooking your favourite meal. It could also look like attending a group class or organising a regular coffee date with friends.
Find ways to wind down at night. The way we settle and slow down for bed influences the perceived restfulness of our sleep. Try to avoid activities that are adrenaline inducing or screen based close to bed time. Engage your senses with a warm shower, hot tea, reading or cozying up in a blanket. Cuing your body with quiet & calm activities allows your brain to induce good quality sleep.